So frustrated !

One of my "to do" projects is a wonderful shawl by Kristin Omdahl from her Crochet So Fine book

I decided that I would make this shawl for my mother-in-law, thankfully I didn't mention I was doing it so there is no pressure to finish.

The shawl calls for No10 crochet cotton and 3.5mm hook.  Well I'm really struggling, my crochet is coming up really loopy and messy looking - not at all like the photographs in the book.  I have been half tempted to go for a smaller hook and just keep crocheting until the size looks right

To make matters worse, when I made up the swatch to measure the gauge it came up small !!  I really can't go for a bigger hook since its already so loopy with a 3.5mm one.  So I've ripped it back and started again - I can't say it looks much better this time but I don't really know what else to do with it.

I'm so frustrated with it right now, I've put it to one side and started making something else until I have some inspiration on how to make this look better.

Any hints or tips will be extremely welcome !!